by Kai Salazar
I want to leave a mark on everyone I meet. I want to
share a little piece of myself every time someone talks to me.
I want to be so crazy famous that people talk about
me for hundreds of years. I want someone to cry tears of
happiness after seeing me because I changed their life.
If I’m not famous, I want to live in a beautiful meadow
where it’s basically spilling year-round with kids and animals.
I want to feel like a little farmer. I want to have my
hands filled with dirt by the end of the day. I want to help
my kids wash their hands. I want to have them play with
farm animals and goats! So many goats! I want my spouse
to scold me because I took the kids to go watch the stars
at midnight. I want my hands to bake amazing goodies.
I want to read books by the fireplace while my kids sleep.
I want to have a beautiful daughter who will have dimples just like my brothers.
She’ll be a genius and will always correct me even though I hate it.
She’ll have soft skin on her arms and rough hands. She’ll be amazing,
and I will be proud of every single thing she does. Man, I am so scared
of ruining kids but that’s all I want—a daughter who is some part of me
and the rest of her. I want to see her grow into herself and figure out her
passions and interests. I want to have a healthy, loving family.
I was so f’d up as a kid, and I was dealt some horrible cards.
I would have done anything to escape the constant drug-ridden world I was living in.
I want to raise children who aren’t scared to ask for food. But I don’t want them to
ask for food, because they won’t have to: It will already be there. I want to help them
with their homework and not make them cry. I want them to feel overwhelming love
every day. I want them to show that love to other people. I want to be comfortable
and successful and I want to love someone.
I want to be scared of life but continue living it. I want to end the cycle.
I want to be different from my family.